Secret Santa Too Well-Behaved? How to Conduct a Dirty Santa Gift Exchange

 

"Secret Santa" gift exchanges are common at offices and groups of friends or classmates at Christmas time. It's a good way to make sure everyone gets a present who wants to participate and have a fun little partylike atmosphere. It's exciting opening presents, getting something and seeing what other people got! If you don't know how to do a "Secret Santa" gift exchange, I explain it here:https://bucketofuseful.blogspot.com/2024/11/how-to-conduct-secret-santa-gift.html

But depending on the character of your office, a far more raucous and funny time can be had with a "Dirty Santa" gift exchange. Now, 'dirty' doesn't mean 'adult' or 'kinky', even though you could choose that as a theme for presents (maybe more for your friends than your coworkers), it 'refers to 'sneaky' and 'underhanded'. Why would a gift exchange be sneaky and underhanded? Because it's more fun that way! Read on:

For a "Dirty Santa" exchange, you are not assigned to buy for anyone in particular, so it's nice to bring a gift anyone can use--at the one I attended, I took a bag with assorted shampoo and soaps, and I came home with a nice blanket. Gifts are wrapped to disguise what they are, at least at first. Everyone who has brought a gift picks a number out of a bag, and the number they get determines the order in which they go to pick their gift. You would think the person who goes first has the best number, but that's actually not true--the person who goes LAST usually has the most advantage.

This is why: The person with number 1 goes up to the pile of gifts and chooses the one s/he wants, then opens it so everyone can see. If it's a really nice gift, it's best not to get too attached to it, because the person who has number 2 can either go pick a gift from the pile, or STEAL the gift that has already been opened. The person who goes third can steal from either of the first two, and so on. The person who goes last can either choose the last remaining wrapped gift, or steal from anyone who went before, which is why it is an advantage.

Now, don't feel too bad for the person whose gift gets stolen, because that makes them the person who is "up", giving them the opportunity to either choose OR steal a gift. There are only two rules about stealing: 1. You can't steal immediately back from the person who stole from you; 2. Each gift can only be stolen only twice, and then it's "home forever" and immune to being stolen, so if you are the third person to pick that same gift, it's yours!

This makes for a hilarious game, as people talk trash and steal gifts and laugh--it always gets a great laugh when something gets stolen repeatedly, or when one person keeps getting stolen FROM and gets to make a fuss! And of course the more people play, the more gifts and the more mischief, so if you have a more lively bunch of people, the "Dirty Santa" gift exchange is for you!

Image credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/excited-ethnic-woman-with-christmas-gift-box-6113591/

How to Conduct a "Secret Santa" Gift Exchange

 

Many people have gift exchanges at their school or work this time of year, in which people purchase a small gift to contribute, usually with a dollar amount ($15-$20 is common) suggested, and then those gifts are matched up.

A common way to do this is called "Secret Santa", in which everyone who wants to participate signs up on a list that is posted up until a deadline to participate. When the deadline passes, all the names of people who want to play are collected, and then each person is given someone to buy for (usually you pick names randomly out of a bag). The 'secret' part is that you know who you are buying for, but you don't tell them, and you don't know who is giving you a gift.

This makes sense in two ways: knowing who you are getting a gift for may help you figure out what to get--you can tailor your choice based on the gender, age, and interests of the person. And of course, because you are Santa, you can do so secretly!

After you have purchased the gift for your designated person, you wrap it with a tag that has only their name on it. At the party, the gifts will all have only who they are for, but who they are from can remain a mystery (sometimes people will tell each other later). Normally, people take turns opening their presents so that everyone can see what they got. This can either be sweet, on the "ooh and ahh" side, or it can be funny, if someone gets an entertaining gift (gag gifts occur sometimes at these things, since one can escape blame)!

This is a fun way for everyone to participate and not leave anyone out who wants to participate. Also, some people may not want to join the exchange, and so they are not forced to, and everyone is happy. Add some drinks and food, and this makes for a nice little party!

Image credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-gray-blazer-holding-a-christmas-gift-14524113/

Why Do Americans Look Forward to Black Friday? It Sounds Scary!

I realize that in other parts of the world, seeing all these items on the internet about Black Friday probably confuses people who are not from the United States, or from English-speaking countries, anyway. I am pretty sure that everyone is smart enough to suss out that Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving here in the US, and that it is associated with Christmas shopping and with large sales. But why do we call it "Black Friday"? That sounds like something bad happens. 

We do tend to associate black with bad stuff, and we even had a "Black Friday" before in our history that was bad--a financial crisis in 1869. But in this case, black is a good thing. See, most of the year, stores don't make a profit, and financial losses were traditionally recorded in red ink. But when Christmas shopping increases sales, stores finally become profitable, and profits are recorded in black ink. So it's called "Black Friday" because this is usually when stores start to operate "in the black", meaning "at a profit". 

So, now you understand why retailers are very, very happy to see black, even though Black Friday can be a little scary, with all the crazy shoppers running over each other to get the best deals. They might have to re-name it "Black Eye-day!" 

Image credit https://pixabay.com/en/words-wordcloud-cloud-black-friday-1797603/

Movie Review of Seven Pounds, Released 2008, Starring Will Smith, Rosario Dawson, Woody Harrelson. Absolutely NO SPOILERS in this review.

The movie Seven Pounds, released during Oscar Season in 2008 and woefully overshadowed by bigger guns such as Doubt and Revolutionary Road, had a poster that gave nothing away, except what it was not. It featured Will Smith, but it was not a blockbuster action movie, because he was simply attired in a business suit, as in The Pursuit of Happyness. There was no cute kid, though, just a very somber look on his face. Not a comedy, either, like Hitch. This is going to be one of those movies that make you think, I decided, and I love Will Smith (yes, even in Hancock, which actually turned out to be a rather touching movie), so I added Seven Pounds to my queue.

We saw it last night. I was right; it’s a movie that makes you think, and one that makes you feel. It’s a little heartbreaking and a little uplifting and a little awe-inspiring.

It’s also a mystery that must be unraveled; one of those movies that starts in media res with something very big indeed happening, but you have no idea what’s going on, at first. Then, bit by bit, things are revealed to you, and you start to piece things together and make educated guesses. Some of your guesses turn out to be right, and I would not be surprised if you are able to guess the main direction of the story a decent amount of time before it is openly revealed, but you never grasp the full extent until the very end. That’s one of the wonderful things about the movie: The pace at which things are revealed is satisfying, causing you to remain constantly engaged, yet never frustrated.

What’s the other wonderful thing? The humanity. The human face of tragedy and redemption, the integrity of Smith’s character, the vulnerability of Rosario Dawson, the surprisingly gentle Woody Harrelson in a rather small but brilliantly played role. This is an acting tour de force by Will Smith, who, even though he is playing a character who at times seems to be living a double life, never strays from the underlying relentlessness, the determination, that inhabits that character. I wish I could tell you what the title means, but it would give away the main idea. I wish I could tell you a little more about the plot, but like I said, it’s one of those movies you’re supposed to go into completely fresh, so don’t look up any other reviews, don’t look at any summaries, just watch it. You will not be sorry.

Image credit: https://www.pexels.com/@tima-miroshnichenko/

What Are Eurogames?

One of the things I love to do is play board games. I grew up playing games like Parcheesi, Aggravation, and Monopoly with my family, and over the last several years, I have also learned of the existence of "Eurogames", which are European-style board games that are very heavy on strategy and not just roll-and-move games, like the kind I used to play as a kid.

  Eurogames are probably quite well-known in Europe, I imagine, but were not so familiar to Americans. However, they are making inroads quickly. Many Americans have heard of or played Settlers of Catan, and you can buy it, as well as Ticket to Ride, another great introductory game, at mass-market retailers like WalMart. Once you get seriously into Eurogames, you will find yourself playing heavier fare, such as Lisboa, Terraforming Mars, Navegador, and Agricola. These games all have a lot going on and can take several hours to play. Agricola, by the way, was the game that Rachel played (and cheated at) with Scott on the television show Orphan Black. It has 14 rounds! I learned about Eurogames by joining a local gaming group that plays them. I discovered the gaming group through meetup.com, which is a great way to find local people who are into the same things you're into. Now Eurogames are a great enthusiasm of mine!

Image credit: https://pixabay.com/photos/board-game-play-strategy-fun-933165/

October Is National Ergonomics Month

According to my handy article about October holidays , it's National Ergonomics Month!

Maybe you have heard of ergonomics. Even if you haven't, you are still probably benefiting from it. ergonomics, also called "human factors", is the science of designing technology, products and environments to work with the human body--the way it moves, the way it is shaped, and its requirements for support and comfort. 

The theory is that you work more efficiently if you are comfortable, and so products are designed to alleviate stress on the body in order to prevent injury or fatigue. Think of products like those gel-filled wrist rests designed to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome in people who spend most of the day typing, or like the ergonomic angled keyboard, pictured above.

Ergonomics can also prevent accidents, as well. Take your car, for example. Not only is it ergonomically designed with your comfort in mind, but also with an eye toward your safety. Think about how easy it is to reach what you need quickly, so that you won't be too distracted while motoring down the road. It's hard enough to get people to pull over to make a phone call, let alone tune the radio, and it's not worth crashing your car just because you can't get enough Dua Lipa (who can, really?).

In order to raise awareness and appreciation for ergonomic design, the Human Factors and Ergonomics Society (HFES) declared October to be National Ergonomics Month, so every time you sit in a molded chair or use one of those funky curved computer keyboards or drive somewhere in a safe, comfortable car, you can thank ergonomic design, in October and in every other month of the year! 

Image credit: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:LAs_new_kb_and_mouse.JPG

Review of The King in the Tree by Steven Millhauser

 

Steven Millhauser is a very accomplished author with a body of work spanning back to 1972, when his debut novel, Edwin Mullhouse, was published. His book Martin Dressler has won a Pulitzer. Both of these titles are on my reading list, but I happened to have purchased The King in the Tree a while back, and my aim is to read the books I already have before getting any new ones. So, this is my jumping-off point into the work of Steven Millhauser. And I like where I landed!

The King in the Tree (2003, Knopf) is a book composed of three novellas, entitled Revenge, An Adventure of Don Juan, and The King in the Tree. Each story has a different setting, different characters, and a different tone. The three are united, however, by similar subject matter: love, longing, and betrayal.

Revenge, the first novella, starts the book off with a bang. The premise of this story is of a woman who is showing a potential buyer around her home, which is for sale. As we progress through the story, the seller reveals bits and pieces of the real story, which is about far more than selling a home. It's written in a kind of first person/second-person hybrid, because there is a narrator, but she is speaking to the unidentified (at first) buyer, which feels like she's talking to you. We're experiencing the story from the point of view of the buyer, although that person never gets a single line of dialogue, because we are passively listening to the narrator unwind the story, room by room. And yet, we are also experiencing the story from the point of view of the narrator, because she is sharing all of her feelings with us. It was absolutely spellbinding, and when I finished, I basically had to sit and go “Whoa”. I love stories that make me do that!

The second novella, An Adventure of Don Juan, is told in a more traditional third-person style, although we are fully inhabiting the point of view of Don Juan Tenorio, the famous seducer. This ended up making me uncomfortable, because he turns out to be a seriously vile person, wrapped up in the pretty packaging of his handsome face, wealth, and courtly ways. In this tale, Don Juan becomes bored with his self-indulgent lifestyle in Venice and travels to England on the invitation of a casual friend, Augustus Hood, a creative prodigy whose lovely wife and striking, enigmatic sister-in-law are given the care of their guest, with increasingly dire consequences. The conclusion of this story was harrowing, but satisfying.

The 'title track' of the collection, The King in the Tree, is the longest of the three, and packs even more twists and turns than the prior stories. It is based on the legend of Tristan and Yseut/Yseult/Isolde/Isolt, in this version spelled Ysolt. Anyone familiar with the legend knows that it is the classic “doomed lovers” tale, but this version, narrated by the king's advisor and bosom friend, Thomas, gives us a far more subtle view, showing us how the love affair between King Mark of Cornwall's nephew, Tristan, and his queen, Ysolt, is dealt with (or at times not dealt with) by the king, who deeply loves them both.

I enjoyed this book so much. The writing is just exquisite. Millhauser knows how to set a scene, hatch a plot, and keep things moving, but what I loved best is his ability to thoroughly inhabit his characters – the wounded, vindictive unnamed character in Revenge, the cocky, jaded, Don Juan, the gentle, faithful Thomas – giving us a full immersion into the story through their eyes. I can't wait to read more Millhauser!

If you enjoyed these, please check out my other book reviews: 

https://bucketofuseful.blogspot.com/2023/05/the-best-in-writing-half-asleep-in-frog.html

https://bucketofuseful.blogspot.com/2022/05/review-of-your-head-is-houseboat-by.html

https://bucketofuseful.blogspot.com/2022/05/a-review-of-boston-darkens-by-michael.html